R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Happy Monday folkers!!!  I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!  My weekend was pretty low-key.  I didn't do much other than spend the weekend with family.  Friday was interesting, which led me to talk about "respect" on today's blog.  Saturday, my parents came over to visit me and Gavin.  Then I hung out with some friends next door.  Sunday, I spent time with my cousin and nephew and then took Gavin to Super Franks so he can get out of the house and play with his cousin, Donovon.  Overall, I had a good weekend.

Now, onto today's topic "RESPECT".  We are all aware that your man will treat you the same way he treats his mama.  I will try and be a lady about how I approach this topic as this is a sensitive subject and not intended to bash anyone.

Growing up, it was a huge part of my discipline to always respect my parents, no matter what!  If they beat me, love me, yell at me, etc. you are to always show your unconditional respect towards them because they brought you into this world and provided for you.  Given the financial situation for everyone these days, that's something to appreciate in the utmost respect.  With the monetary factor aside, kids are brought up to always respect their parents, PERIOD.

As I got older and moved out on my own, I saw how hard it was to support myself and now that I'm a mother, having to care for another person, I can understand why my parents made sure I understood the meaning of parenthood and the difficulty of it.  It's not until you leave the nest when you fully learn to spread your wings.  As a parent, I want to instill the same values to my son so he can grow up to be a sweet little boy and respectful to everyone around him including his parents.  Kids will always be a reflection of their parents and with that said, we, as parents need to instill proper values into our children while they are still young because if you don't, you may never get the chance to and it'll be too late.

I've come to the realization that if you don't stress the importance of respect to your kids, they will grow into adults without values or concerns and regards of others' feelings.  If parents try too hard to be "friends" rather than "parents" to their children, you will be treated as such and there is an extreme fine line between the two.  I'm all for being friends with your children, but if you cross that line where you talk the lingo of your children and try to be hip and act the age of your children, best believe you will get treated the same way.  It's ok to be friends, BUT it must be etched in stone that you are the parent and deserve to be respected, obeyed and listened to.

When you see a man yell at his mom using profanity, hangs up on her, disrespects her in public, constantly rides her ass with every little move she does, THIS PERSON WAS NOT BROUGHT UP RIGHT.  Is it his fault?  Yes, but partially.  Everything starts at home.  If you let your children get away with everything and I do mean, everything, you will suffer the consequences for your entire lifetime and those who are unfortunate to be involved with people like this, will too.

When I was little, the moment I answered back to my parents, they were not shy about slapping me across the face.  Did it scare me?  Yes!  Did it show me who was superior to me?  Yes!  Did it teach me a lesson?  Not all the time... But I got the point eventually and I learned from my mistakes.  Not to toot my own horn, but you can ask anyone about me.  They will tell you I'm a sweet person and very loving.  My rough upbringing made me a strong, respectable woman.  I cannot let my parents' failures or my mistakes corrupt the reflection I am of them.  They raised me the best way possible and I came out with flying colors.

Respect is earned, indeed.  However, parents are given this by default, with the exception of parents who aren't doing their part as parents.  What I'm saying is, if you don't teach your children the value of respect, to respect women, respect your elders, relatives, friends, occupation, etc. you will hurt yourself and others that care about you.  I'll be damned if the next man I get with has the nerve to call me a bitch like it's the word "the" in his vocabulary in front of anyone, anytime, anywhere, in front of my child lacking the respect that is earned when being a woman who has loved unconditionally and brought a child into this world and has done nothing short of everything for him.

A red flag should definitely be brought up once you see your prospect/man mistreating his mother.  He will do the same thing to you.  If this is how he treats the important women is his life, think about if this is what you want to live with for the rest of yours.

Dirty Laundry

After many discussions on how I waste my time reading nonsense on Facebook when I can be blogging, releasing my thoughts and sharing with the world experiences of my day, I've come to that point where I want to start writing again.

Hello all... So I'm not sure where to start.  So much has happened since my last blog and this can go on forever.  I guess I can write on a topic that is very disturbing for me and quite painful.  I'm not about airing out my dirty laundry on the internet whether it be with the hundreds of friends one may have on Facebook or the followers on Twitter.  It's tacky and very disrespectful and in my opinion, says a lot about one's character.

Me and Gavin's dad didn't work out and it's unfortunate.  I'm not happy about it and could only wish that things were different, but things don't always work out the way we planned or hoped.  All I can do is move on and take care of my son and maybe myself too. ;)  In the midst of this nasty breakup, it has been brought to my attention that my ex so freely bashes me indirectly on Facebook/Twitter, etc... 

We're going on 6 months of being apart and till this day, things are still being said about me on the internet.  If that's how he releases, that's fine, BUT I am the mother of his child, someone he shared 5 years with, someone who stuck by his side through ALL obstacles, forgave his mistakes and loved him more and more and more no matter what knife he stabbed me with.  I am the person who so selflessly gave everything to make him happy even when the pain was so unbearable.  I carried our beautiful son for 9 months doing everything right to make sure our baby had the best and I delivered the most amazing child I'll ever know who has taught me more about the word "unconditional".  I crouch my head down in embarrassment not knowing what his audience thinks of me after he has entertained them with garbage.

Even though hurtful things have been said about me to my shock and to the shock of my friends, I don't find any comfort in disrespecting him in the same distasteful manner.  I love him and I respect him and that's how it is.  Bashing him will not make me feel any better nor will it take me out of the pit of misery I have in my stomach.  I can't believe that someone I thought loved me would do such a thing to embarrass me for the worldwide web to see.  It also hurts to know that the clients he shares an intimacy with while tattooing them gets to hear the same garbage.

How does this make me feel?  DEFEATED.  EMPTY.  HUMILIATED.  ASHAMED.  EMBARRASSED.  RIDICULED.  HEARTBROKEN.  I'm sure you get what I'm saying. 

During one of our heated fights, he mentioned that our friends have perfect relationships on Facebook and ours is nothing like theirs.  WOW!!!  Facebook is fake!  People announce what they want their friends to know.  In his case, he wants to find some validation for the dirt he does because he's not doing anything wrong.  Right???????  Right...  I have my faults and I'm not afraid to admit that.  I am not perfect and everyday is a lesson for me.  Mature and respectful people do not air out their dirty laundry.  That is kept private as the skid marks on one's underwear.

Yes, I felt defeated that I have my hands tied.  I will not retaliate.  I will deal with this and try to lift that head up high no matter what has been said about me.  I know I'm a good woman and did my best to make this relationship work and to be a good parent to our son.  If he could not see or appreciate that even after all he has put me through in the past 5 years, then clearly, I need to keep moving forward.  As much as it hurts and lingers in my heart with crazy thoughts running through my mind, I must stay strong and know that 1 day my time will come.  Someone more deserving of what I have to offer will find me.  Until that day happens, I must focus on getting better and being strong for my innocent child who will be a product of a broken home like his mama. 

Karma will play its part in all of this and if this is another one of life's lessons, maybe it's time for me to see if the grass is greener on the other side.

Good night world and thank you for taking the time to read this.  I'll keep ya posted.